Sleepless
by Canon-ishPairings
Summary: Or why Lily can sleep four night in a row. "Out of all the Gryffindors, boys and girls in seven years, the one who woke up in the middle of the night was him. And soon, she could see him in his gray t-shirt and red pajama pants (his house loyalty was touching, really) with hair more messy than usually and glasses crocked."


Sleepless. It was her fourth sleepless night. She didn't get what was wrong – she was neither stressed out, worried, in love nor ill, yet sleep seemed to avoid her. Because of that, she came to classes dead tired, annoyed without a reason, generally reminding brainless giant more than a teenage girl. Turning on her side on red Gryffindor sofa before fireplace, she wondered what else could cause such insomnia. Maybe she was unaware of some of her worries? Or, she certainly wouldn't be surprised, maybe she had been cursed? You never know with those Slytherins. Did they think that lack of sleep would kill her? Well, actually she knew it was medically possible, but with all the potions, spells and charms and medi-witch… it would have been miracle to die out of sleeplessness.

Irritated, Lily kicked gold velvet pillow off the couch. She lay again on her back and closed her eyes, though she knew she wouldn't get any sleep tonight, again. After all, if she hoped to, middle of the Gryffindor common room wasn't the best place for it.

Her musing was interrupted with footsteps on the stairs. She propped herself on an elbow, trying to decide if coming person was a boy or a girl. However, she heard quiet thud as if someone bumped on a wall and muttered curse. It was a voice she reorganized everywhere for quite some time, now, and she also cursed, but only in her head, mentally screaming in irritation.

Fate just wasn't too keen on her, was it? Out of all the Gryffindors, boys and girls in seven years, the one who woke up in the middle of the night was _him_. And soon, she could see him in his gray t-shirt and red pajama pants (his house loyalty was touching, really) with hair more messy than usually and glasses crocked.

'Oh' he said, stopping at the foot of stairs. He then gave a looped smile. 'Are you really that crazy about studies or you suffer under insomnia, too?'

She rolled her eyes seating herself straight.

'But yes, I just love spending my beauty-sleep time studying. Doesn't everyone?'

He snorted coming to her.

'Move, sweetheart.'

'Magic word?'

'Wingardium Leviosa or I'll move you myself.'

Lily shifted to the end of a couch, sighing.

'I meant please, but seeing you're incapable of being polite, I'll take pity on you.'

He dropped heavily next to her and immediately she felt her heart fasten up. Why him? Why now? Two years ago, she wouldn't give a damn if he sat so close. Well, maybe a little – she always had a soft spot for him, even if she hated herself for it and covered it pretending to loath him. Nevertheless, she wouldn't react like that, back then. Only now that he grew up a little bit (if he did completely, he wouldn't be James anymore) these feelings she pushed somewhere in the back of her mind returned, making her feel queasy and out-of-control in his mere presence.

She stole a glance in his direction, but he was just leaning back, eyes closed and breathing deeply.

'I know what you meant, but I know you don't give a shit about it, too.'

'Touché. What could get our Head boy's wand in a twist like that?'

'His idiotic friend?'

'Well, that's rich coming from you.'

One-sided smile crept onto his face and he turned to look at her.

'And that was brave coming from potential Marauders' victim.'

Lily snorted in rather unlady like manner.

'Don't kid yourself, you like me too much.'

He grinned this time, sitting straight to face her. He propped his head on hand and she thought it was really unfair he manager to look so sexy in plain pajamas, half-asleep. But it was because of his hair, she knew, everyone knew Potter's hair was sexy in every form, at every occasion.

'So, you have insomnia, too, or someone got to you? If the letter, I can help with hunting down the bastard.'

She laughed and shook her head at him.

'Of course you would. But no, the thing is I don't know myself why I can't sleep.'

'Hmm…' he stared somewhere in the space for a few seconds. 'Nothing worries you?'

'Nope.'

'No love dilemma? School problems – no, wait, who am I kidding. So, err, no family business?'

'It's as fine as it can be with my sister.'

'Hmm…' he said again, looking more and more interested, but at the same time troubled. 'Did you visit Hospital Wing?'

'Yeah, I'm good as new. She gave me a dreamless potion, but it's one time thing.'

He sighed deeply.

'You gave me conundrum.'

'Conundrum?' she repeated amused. 'You never fail to amaze me.'

'I'm not as stupid as I look!' he looked at her offended.

'You just said you look stupid.'

Few seconds of silence.

'It's almost four AM., what do you expect? Lack-of- sleep inspired poems?'

'Well, you shoot me a bit with that conundrum…'

'Oh, shut it, you.'

James ran a hand through his hair, dropping on the back of a sofa again. She knew she stared these minute or two, but it was beyond her control and if he noticed, he didn't let it show. Instead, he watched faint fire with as much force.

Finally, Lily averted her eyes before he could look back at her.

'And what about you?' she broke the silence. 'Insomnia, too?'

'Yeah…' he sighed.

'So, what is it? Love dilemma? School problems? Family business? Or, as you said, your idiotic friend?'

He hesitated.

'Bit of everything, really' he said honestly and she raised her eyebrows.

'You, love dilemma? Which one to choose, yeah? Or love triangle? And school – what, you have too many detentions to graduate? And what did Sirius do this time?'

'Thankfully I don't have any love triangles!' he seemed horrified at the very prospect. 'Just a little bit of healthy jealousy.'

Lily snorted disbelievingly.

'And it's mostly nothing… everything is rather trivial. I'm just tired, you know, from this… love dilemma, duties, my over worried parents – they think I'll blow up the school just to have my Head boy badge taken away – and Sirius is insanely annoying lately. I want to sleep, but there's too many thoughts going on through my head to let me rest.'

'Sirius, annoying? No way!' she gasped.

'You're such a good listener.'

She grinned at him, but it quickly faded when he closed his eyes again.

'No, really I understand. Nothing's really wrong, but still everything seems wrong…' she felt slight satisfaction when he opened his eyes and there was something like relieve or maybe respect in them. 'But Sirius, seriously – what did he do?'

'He just nags me a lot and…' he laughed, rubbing eye under his glasses. 'Good lord, he's an idiot. He decided he's quitting all this Auror business to become a match-maker.'

Eyebrows disappearing in her red hair, Lily gaped at James. Then she bursted out laughing.

'He _is_ an idiot. God, poor people who cross paths with him.'

'I know' he shook his head. 'I'm his first victim, actually.'

'Oh? And who's your soul-mate?' she felt irrational pang of jealousy as his cheeks went pink and he looked everywhere but at her.

'Ministry secret – if I told, I'd have to kill you.'

'I always knew you're bigheaded, but to think Ministry keeps track on your love life as if world's future depended on it… you surprised me, again, and let me tell you it's not a good thing this time.'

He looked me straight in eyes.

'Once bighead, always bighead' he smiled that special looped smile of his and Lily was thankful she was sitting or her wobbly knees wouldn't have been enough support to stand.

Seconds ticked by and they stared at each other motionless. Her breath hitched, her heart missed its beat and she felt sudden urge to run a hand through his unruly, messy hair. There was this moment – moment when she suddenly wanted to close the space between them, touch him, let the suppressed feelings which were driving her mad for years on the loose. And then the moment passed. James turned his head away, looking at a wall clock.

'Almost ten after four' he nodded with appreciation. 'Theoretically, we should wake up soon.'

'Might as well not sleep at all' she shrugged, quickly covering up her former disappoint as he glanced at her.

'We might.'

For a while there was silence filled with tension she hadn't sensed before. She sighed softly wondering when did she change in James Potter Fan. As if there wasn't enough of them already.

Just then body next to her began moving around and shifting. Suddenly a head appeared on her lap wearing smug smirk on his face.

'Aren't you a bit too comfy?' she asked, shocked.

'Nope. Just right' his lips twitched as though he wanted to laugh. Which was the case, probably. He looked thoroughly amused, lying on her lap with his eyes closed.

'I'm glad' she said dryly and was answered with a chuckle.

Time passed quickly as they talked and she enjoyed his company far too much for her liking. However, she was used to this by now – they were Head students and so, spent a lot of time together. But then James' answers were rarer and rarer, finally reaching a point when he was silent, the only sound he was making being deep breathing.

Lily looked at him with fondness she tried to hide so hard. He fell asleep.

The clock showed it was after five am. She sighed heavily, leaning on the couch as he did earlier. Peeking at him she saw his face calm as ever. Emotions always played on his face, even when he was dead on feet just some time ago. It was the first, and probably the only time, as she can see him so relaxed.

Under some impulse, she reached to his hair. It was silly, really, but she had had a strong desire to do this for hours. She ran her fingers through his locks, surprised it was so soft. Then, as suddenly as she reached, she withdrew her hand.

His head felt right on her lap, in a twisted way.

She stared at him some more. Okay, so maybe there was some love dilemma, after all.


End file.
